31 July 2010, 5:20 pm
i can never please her. im the second child of six, and the oldest girl. my older brother always seems to have more or better than me, and our mom makes sure of that. hes 18 and never worked a day. he has thousands of dollars worth of guitars, his custom built laptop, a lovesac (a tempur pedic foam beanbag), a mini fridge full of alcohol, not to mention all the beer under his bed, and the room he has wasnt even supposed to be his, my dad had promised it to me, but mom told him that since my brother was going to college in arkansas soon, he got it, even though he signed up for community college so he doesnt have to leave. he has a credit card with no real limit, if he uses different atm's, he can just keep withdrawing. its linked to my moms checking account, so he never overdraws. about a month ago, he hit a deer in my car and totally wrecked it, and a week later, with his '78 camaro still in the driveway, he got a new saturn sky. my car still doesnt work, and my mom told me that she was gonna give it to my little sister, whos 14, as soon as its fixed, and i hav to buy my own car. right now, im driving my dads pilot, and she always complains when i hav to ask for gas money, calling me lazy, and saying i never pay for anything. this is the woman that refuses to get a job, and just has her husband pay for everything (my dads a doctor), but since hes almost always working, hes never around to defend me. last week, when she found out i was gonna start birth control, she started yelling that i never talk to her, and that shes always there to listen. every time i try to talk to her, no matter what its about, she has her side screamed in my face, and then tells me to get out, even when i tried to ask a question about my curfew. my dads rule has always been that if i have my phone and he knows where i am, i can usually stay out as late as i want, unless he tells me otherwise for that specific night. a while ago, after i told him that i was staying at a friends house for the night, my mom decided that i suddenly had a midnight curfew, which gave me 2 minutes to get all the way across town. i walked in the door at 12:11, and she immediately started yelling at me about doing drugs and how irresponsible i am. when i tried asking her when she decided i had a curfew, she tried to take my keys for "being disrespectful and raising my voice" even though shes the only one that yelled the entire time. she used to constantly quote "thall shalt honor thy mother and father" at me, even though ive tried telling her i dont believe the bible, so i finally told her to treat others the way she wants to be treated, and again, i was being "disrespectful and rude". she never realizes the way she treats me, insisting that shes not like her mother (who also favored her sons). everything that we fight about and that i see in her behavior scares me too the point that i never want to have kids for the fear that i'll treat them the way that she treats me. i hate it here, but i cant leave, i have no job, she wouldnt let me take any of my stuff, not even the things that ive paid for (everything my dad hasnt) and she would keep all of the money that my dads been putting away for college for me. i dont know what to do, she frustrates me and then wonders why i try to get away and want nothing to do with her i do have a friend that could take me in, and i talk to her parents a lot, they listen and offer advice when they can, but its not quite the same as a mother. ive tried my whole life to make her proud of me, but even straight A's (much better than my brothers grades) still only earn a response of "im sorry, i know you can do better than her" for my brother. half the time i hear her, whether or not she thinks i do, and i know that all shes really doing is hurting him. when she just hands him everything he wants, hes not gonna know how to support himself later in life... Read More »
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